Lyrics from “Half - Aaron Yan & G.Na”
Simple gestures that may not have any meaning, may mean the world to the receiver. “Half” tells us a story about a lady who falls for this man but she can not read his actions. This man is half warm and half cold, so this lady can not tell what he’s thinking. This song goes on with a line that says “Cause love takes two, you better show me your heart”.
We live in a time where sometimes it’s about the games we play in a relationship. We want to “keep our options open.” But that is what creates distance between people. That is what creates doubts between people. Maybe it’s just naive to think that each and every one of us can all find one person to love and just love that person forever.
Love does not just take one person who is willing to give it all, because it honestly wouldn’t matter if the other person isn’t interested. You can’t make someone fall in love with you. Love happens when two people are both committed to be with the other. Love happens when two people are willing to give it all they’ve got to work out any issues that come up. Love happens when two people are willing to see the other for what they are.
Love takes two.
"The truth is, none of us has any idea how long we have to live. Sadly, however, we act as if we’re going to live forever. We postpone the things that, deep down, we know we want to do— telling the people we love how much we care, spending time alone…We come up with elaborate and sophisticated rationales to justify our actions, and end up spending most of our time and energy doing things that aren’t all that important. We argue for our limitations, and they become our limitations." - Richard Carson’s "Don’t Sweat the small stuff… and it’s all small stuff"
This is something that has come up more than once… Living every day as if it was your last. But when you think about it… like… really really think about it… how can you realistically do that, when the nature of our society is to plan for the future. The future will be better or I see myself in xx position in five years. How do we live in the moment when there is so much hope and aspiration for the future? There are so many things we all hide away, waiting for the perfect moment to be revealed… Sighhh frustration it is… How does one simply do everything as if it was your last…. do we not care about the results? What happens if we just decided to impulsively do things and say things? Where is the rational in that?
You have fights and conflicts every now and then but it has never become unhealthy or toxic for you. You learn to forgive and accept everything about him.
Recently, I’ve had some time on my hands to read and most of the books I’ve invested in adds insight to my life so definitely a plus. Coming across this article was super interesting… This author writes about some amazing signs that are I think are qualities to have in a boyfriend. But these qualities are definitely applicable for the girlfriend as well. Both sides have to give and take as equally as possible.
#8 Inspiration - It is super difficult to find someone who is motivates you as much as you can motivate yourself. Finding someone who makes you “aspire and strive further” is rare
#11 Trust - Without trust… it’s like a building without a foundation
#13 Actions - In a relationship, action speaks louder than words
#18 Dreams - Much needed to motivate each other
#19 Forever - Why play? What fun is there knowing that forever doesn’t exist?
#20 Becoming better - Learning that you must love yourself in order to love someone else. Find someone who brings out the best in you and bring out the best in them :)
Sighhhh another semester has gone by. And to be utmost honest… it was the roughest since the last last fall semester. I have to constantly drag myself away from my room so that I don’t sleep, or nap. I knew mid-semester that I was going to make it in the end… it’s just a matter of how my grades would end up… This semester I met some of the most amazing people, people that are motivated and ambitious to the point that it makes me work just as hard. Seeing other people work towards their goals makes me more focused. I’m found that by going to the gym even during a busy week will help me de-stress so that would probably be something to take away for next fall. I’m searching the ends of the Earth to find an internship for the summer. That journey is pretty rough but I’m hopeful that something will come up… hopefully :). Meanwhile I’ll be working out away in the gym trying to reach my goal of planking over 2 mins…. ideally hitting the 3 minute mark but we’ll see :) Aiming to go about 3-4 times a week if I am at home!
Yes that’s probably the title of the post… These past two weeks have not only been rough but almost to the point of unbearable. For those who know me, they might just say “mehhh you’ll be fine” but honestly there were multiple days where I wanted to call it quits. I still remember the moment when I was walking in the food court, lost. That feeling of having nothing within, losing hope in everything… This semester is tough because I can pour hours and hours, days and days in studying and doing assignments and score like 40 points below my expectation. The next two months will be about the same where I’m constantly fighting for motivation, fighting to survive another day. Every struggle that I have encountered… I ask myself if it’s worth it… WAIT… not even that but more like why am I doing this? Coming across these videos are exactly what I need on days where I start losing hope and stop believing in myself.
I’m also grateful for all the support that I have in the people around me. Friends who are willing to lend a shoulder, lend an ear. And I’m utmost grateful to encounter people who motivate me to work hard… Those people who are driven to succeed no matter the difficulties they face, inspire me.
"Don’t tell me that you miss me over text when I initiated the conversation. When I initiate all of our conversations. When I purposefully limit the amount of times I try to reach out because you have your life, and I have my life, and there is nothing wrong with that other than I still want to maintain a friendship. Don’t add in “I miss you” because you feel like you should. When we both know you either have the feeling or you don’t.
Don’t tell me that you miss me because you haven’t seen me in enough time that apparently equates to “forever” in your world. When you have made zero effort to arrange a time when we can get together and catch up. When I have tried to make plans with you, and you agreed to let me know, but either never did or simply forgot to do so. Don’t add in “I miss you” as some kind of apology after yet another failed attempt to see each other. When we both know if it really mattered, we would have seen each other by now.”
Approaching in the next week is the lovely Valentines Day. For couples this is a day where they show each other love, splurge on gifts for one another. But coming across this article, it made me think about people we loved and may still love now. Sometimes it’s our busy lives that prevent us from getting together with people that we love. As time goes on, we become more and more distant. Personally I hate being given false hope. “I miss you, we should hangout.” But honestly I am guilty about this too, when everything else is going on in our lives we neglect some of the meet ups that we were suppose to have. I feel bad for telling my friends that let’s grab lunch or dinner and then all my work gets in the way. Definitely need to hit up a couple of friends for lunch to make up for those missed plans when spring break comes.
Randomly found this video while I was on youtube… Before even looking at the description I watched the video and I could pick out that the scenes were taken in Taiwan. Being in Taiwan for a month personally, these scenes seem so familiar especially the scenes looking out of the high speed rail. And I didn’t make to to Kenting to see the beaches when I was there. But the more touching aspect of this video was about point being made about second chances.
This is the description of the video:
"We often want second chances. Sometimes we don’t deserve them. The feeling of regret and wishing for another chance is common when a couple separates. Whoever is at fault usually searches for sympathy as they have realized in hindsight their mistakes."
Second chances are aspects of life everyone thinks about. There are times where we would think back and wonder if it could have been done differently. What if… what if it was done differently, where would we be now? What actually went wrong? The second time around I’ll definitely not do this or do it differently. But that also depends if we are given that second chance. Second chances are hard to come by so if you happen to be given one. Please don’t make the same mistakes twice. Realize what went wrong the first time and know how lucky a second chance given is. A lot of people don’t get second chances. Giving out a second chance is like giving someone the power to break your heart again. Or giving someone a second chance to show you the love they didn’t show you the first time.
This month has been interesting in many many ways. First, I slacked on my New Years resolution. In reality, looking deep into my schedule it’s probably not realistically possible for me to find 3 days a week to go work out. Once I’m done with one class’s problem set i’m off to writing another report and then back to the second problem set. Lovely quizzes one after another. Interesting in the second way is that one of these days this month I’ve had handled stress in the worse way. It wasn’t the typical stress where I can handle anymore by managing my time, it skyrocketed to something much more serious. However, after speaking to a couple of lovely people, I’ve gotten some advice here and there. Sometimes I feel like every semester is like a tank of gas that I have to survive on. Last semester my gas tank ran out with a month left of classes. This semester I feel like I’m out of gas already.
For February, my hopes is to hit the gym once a week. And not to stress about all the little things but just to tackle things one at a time. Spring break is getting closer and closer… When spring break arrives I would have taken roughly 5 exams, 15 quizzes and submitted multiple reports and proposals.
Spring break please please come to me… so I can fill up my gas tank T.T
Finally this first week of spring semester has gone by… And I have to say this is the roughest first week of college. This post is going to more of a complaining one and for those who may be reading I apologize beforehand. I cleaned up my plate of commitments and decided to focus on extracurriculars that will give me more insight into my future career. But that doesn’t mean that I have more time on my hands…. ABSOLUTELY NOT… These two classes that I am taking scared me before I even stepped foot into the class. Knowing that math isn’t my forte… I decided to give it my best shot from day 1…Because I know that in the end, even if am in the top of the class… . I gave it my best shot. To me that’s all that’s important.
Recently I’ve been called a nerd for going to the library to study and that I’m not entirely ok with it…. but HEYYY…. in the end my grades are all for ME so more hard work now will just help me later on. But one day this first week, I’ve been doubted… I’ve been told to reconsider my major… This person said basically go do something easier because some things in my major have yet to click for me. I’ve doubted myself every semester whenever I struggle with my courses and being told that doesn’t do me any good. That moment, I held mixed feelings, one side of me wanted to just go and switch into some easy major and be done with this and let myself have more sleep BUT another part of me can’t help but laugh and hold my head up high because I want to prove that person wrong when I have my degree. Later on, I realized what that person said doesn’t matter…. I can not and will not be swayed by their words! I’ve come such a long way. I don’t have to better than anyone else in my major, I just have to be the best that I can be. And all the work is on me, I’ll pour every ounce that I have to do whatever I can to get my degree.
Beyond the many things I hope to accomplish some time in the near future, there are a couple things I — and you — should do in the new year no matter what.
Although I have yet to hit 21, I do feel like these are still applicable to me. Sometimes we all get lazy and we use all of our time on things that are not as productive as others. Like I can be lazy where I use up hours on watching movies or playing candy crush and that can definitely be time saved for #1 being more active…. And honestly I’m not about all the parties… I’d prefer to just hangout with a bunch of close friends but maybe I’ll need to go to one or two when I have time… In terms of buying valuable things I feel like sometimes we all want so much. Some people want all those dream cars and fancy mansions and that’s totally fine if that’s what your end goals are. Some people want to save the world or save people from poverty and that is an amazing end goal. Whatever your end goals may be I’ve always been the one saying if you put your mind to it and take action! Then you’re more likely to achieve it compared if you just talked about them. I also feel like a once in a while a splurge is fine because it can be a tiny reward for going so far. And that’s what makes the splurge meaningful :) Hopefully I’ll be able to relax a little bit more but the possibility of that is next to 0. But in the end hopefully it’ll be worth all the stressful all-nighters when I have that degree at hand.